The Second World War ends and Josje is returned to his parents. Who are these people who call themselves my parents, he imagines. He is three years old and feels abandoned, confused and angry. He wants to return to his “real” parents who loved and sheltered him during the war. “My name is Pietje Dijkstra not Josje Gosler!”, he states tearfully when goaded by his cousin. As a Jew and a Hidden Child, his innocence protected him as much as his Christian family.
At seven months of age, for his own safety as well as his parents’, he was given to a young nursing student from the Dutch resistance, and placed with the Dijkstra family in Wageningen. The impact of his first separation from his parents, may not be so easily ascertained, but when he is returned to them, his porcelain psyche is damaged and his closest companions are fear and distrust. Childhood wounds never fully heal and the impact of his early life is seen through the lens of an immigrant, as he migrates with his family to Israel and subsequently to the United States. This is a personal memoir of a child survivor that spans from WWII to the late 20th century. A story of a young boy, who becomes a man, ever wandering and struggling to find himself. His parents, emotionally gutted from their own wartime experiences, are barely able to care for themselves, let alone this young stranger.
Show moreThe Second World War ends and Josje is returned to his parents. Who are these people who call themselves my parents, he imagines. He is three years old and feels abandoned, confused and angry. He wants to return to his “real” parents who loved and sheltered him during the war. “My name is Pietje Dijkstra not Josje Gosler!”, he states tearfully when goaded by his cousin. As a Jew and a Hidden Child, his innocence protected him as much as his Christian family.
At seven months of age, for his own safety as well as his parents’, he was given to a young nursing student from the Dutch resistance, and placed with the Dijkstra family in Wageningen. The impact of his first separation from his parents, may not be so easily ascertained, but when he is returned to them, his porcelain psyche is damaged and his closest companions are fear and distrust. Childhood wounds never fully heal and the impact of his early life is seen through the lens of an immigrant, as he migrates with his family to Israel and subsequently to the United States. This is a personal memoir of a child survivor that spans from WWII to the late 20th century. A story of a young boy, who becomes a man, ever wandering and struggling to find himself. His parents, emotionally gutted from their own wartime experiences, are barely able to care for themselves, let alone this young stranger.
Show moreAcknowledgments
Prologue
Background
Introduction
PART 1
THE NETHERLANDS 1942 - 1949
PART 2
ISRAEL 1949 - 1953
PART 3
AMERICA 1953 - 1960
PART 4
AMERICA 1960 - 1977
PART 5
AMERICA 1977 - PRESENT
Closing
Photos
Epilogue
About the Author
Joseph Gosler was born in Groningen, the Netherlands during WWII and after the war he migrated to Israel with his family and subsequently to the United States, where he has lived since. His life's journey has been a circuitous one and as a result he has often meandered off the main road. This is best exemplified by the 20 plus years it took him to achieve his BA in History and MBA in corporate finance through the City University of New York. For nearly 40 years he has worked in educational settings ranging from day care centers to private schools in the capacity of Business Manager. He and his wife founded a pre-school called Beginnings Nursery, have one son and live in New York City. Mr. Gosler retired from Friends Seminary in 2004, and today is actively involved in several Quaker projects, writing, gardening, traveling and walking his dog. Searching for Home, describing his life as a Hidden Child, is his international debut.
Seventy-five years after Auschwitz was liberated, we continue to
come upon new stories, unfathomable lived experiences. Joseph
Gosler's book is an important and moving addition to the history of
the holocaust, giving us the perspective and trauma of a child
reared in a Dutch family with a Dutch mother, only to learn after
the war that he belongs to another family and mother. —Pearl
Abraham, author of Animal Voices, Mineral Hum: Stories,
American Taliban and The Seventh Beggar.
As a child psychologist, I have not come across another book that
better captures the psychological turmoil encountered by a Jewish
child who is separated as an infant from his birth parents during
World War II only to be given a new name and live with a non-Jewish
family before being reunified years later. Gosler's road to
psychological survival and recovery is unique and inspiring. I
recommend this to professionals and laypersons alike. —Alec L.
Miller, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences,
Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine
Joseph Gosler's sensitive, affecting and beautifully written memoir
belongs in the last chapter of the history of WWII.
Yet, Searching for Home will be of equal importance in
the annals of psychological studies on the subject of separating a
small child from the only family he knows.The Holocaust initiates
Joseph Gosler's early distress, but it is the aftermath that
perpetuates a lifetime of dislocation and trauma. Born in the
Netherlands in July 1942, the serial uprooting starts in early
infancy, when he is hidden from the Nazis by a loving adoptive
family, the Dijkstras. But his ordeal occurs when he is returned to
his war-scarred parents after the liberation. A succession of
displacements resumes with his parents, first in Israel and then in
the U.S., establishing a long-lasting rift between Joe and his
parents and a perennial simmering rage. Each relocation heightens
his sense of not belonging anywhere and his constant fear that
"life can be snuffed out or diminished in a nanosecond." Still,
from an early age, Joe is determined not to be a victim. As he
searches for a personal identity and a home, he is remarkably
self-aware and brutally honest. It is this willingness to bare
himself completely open that sets this memoir apart from many
others. —Rachelle Goldstein, Co-director, Hidden Child
Foundation/ADL
This beautiful poignant memoir of a very young Jewish child hidden
with a Christian family in Holland during the Holocaust powerfully
draws the reader in, while giving important historical and
psychological context to the lifelong emotional devastation
experienced by many child Holocaust survivors. The author's
inspiring journey of perseverance offers hope for redemption to
others. —Israela Meyerstein, MSW, Author of Bridge to Healing:
Finding Strength to Cope with Illness and Miracle Nation:
Seventy Stories about the Spirit of Israel.
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